Hey You, Haunter!
by metrosubwayandroid
Summary: As the night of Halloween approaches, here is a story to remind you of the days when the Creepypastas roamed the earth.


The Nintendo 64. _Man_ , the N64. Everyone has their favorite gaming console, and the N64 was my favorite. Back when I was a green young lad, my mom thought it would be a great present for her only son, and since I was such a big fan of the _Pokémon_ anime, I might be able to explore more of the wonderful world that GAME FREAK had created. When I recently saw Peanut Butter Gamer's retro review of _Hey You, Pikachu!_ , one of the first three titles I owned, I knew I had to relive the experience.

 _Hey You, Pikachu!_ is a weird game in the sense that it was the only title to use the Voice Recognition Unit peripheral (aside from this one game about public buses that wasn't released outside of Japan). You were able to use a special microphone to talk to an in-game Pikachu that would embark on daily shenanigans with your player character. I plugged the unit into the fourth controller slot, as is required, and strapped the microphone to the main controller. I rushed to remove the Wii's A/V cables from my TV and put the N64's in their place. Slapping the Power Switch into the on position with an over-dramatic flick of my wrist, the game booted up without a problem. The Nintendo 64 and Ambrella company logos flashed by as the gorgeous music begins to play. Soon enough, I'm greeted by the positively adorable title screen, occupied by a little Pikachu and a larger Butterfree playing tag. I couldn't help but put both hands on my cheeks as I reveled in the sheer cuteness.

I found myself and my electric companion in my character's bedroom, where all game sessions begin. Holding down the "Z" button, I told Pikachu things like, "Thank you for being here," and "You're quite a delight to be around," even though I knew I wouldn't receive any complex response. The Pikachu just smiled and waddled across the room. I looked around. There was some serious attention to detail put into this environment. There was a nice little stereo next to the bed, a sliding door, a normal door, a cabinet, a shelf, some coat hangers, a TV, etc. There was even a hat that, upon closer inspection, was made to look just like Ash's hat from the anime. "Capitalist pigs," I jokingly uttered to myself. Enough foolishness. The meat of this game lies within the various local areas and their respective minigames. I left the house through the wooden door and, selecting through my menu of choices, I picked "Cobalt Coast". "The Piñata Game" appears on the screen, and I sighed in disappointment.

We were at Cobalt Coast, and Pikachu began talking to a massive Venusaur, possibly discussing how to further torment the unfortunate souls who find themselves here. I instantly recalled how awful this minigame was. But I couldn't complain too much, with the game's uplifting and nerve-chillingly nostalgic soundtrack. A Butterfree (presumably Pikachu's little playmate from the Title Screen) dangled a giant Pokéball from a string, serving as the piñata. Blindfolded, Pikachu had to find the ball with my voice as a guide. I yelled "Left!" and "Right!" when appropriate, but it never seemed like Pikachu listened. I began to shout things like "macaroni and cheese!" to see if I would receive a more favorable reaction. Eventually, Pikachu actually managed to find and destroy the Pokéball, startlingly enough.

After drudging through a few more piñatas, Pikachu and I were finally rewarded with a nice little night stay at Venusaur's camping site. It was pretty nice. A fire and everything. Pikachu was certainly content.

Bluntly and slowly, yet abrupt enough to make me jump, a Haunter emerged from the woods behind Pikachu. It slinked behind, as if to capture Pikachu's neck, Solid Snake-style. But when the two touched, the screen swiftly froze. I was frightened. It was almost as if the two events were linked, Haunter and the freezing, but then I realized how silly it was and moved on. Turning off the console, taking out the cartridge, blowing and sucking any dust that may have been there, I put everything back in order and booted up the game again. Everything worked. With that being said, I was greeted with something very odd.

Instead of Pikachu playfully running around with Butterfree, I saw the same Haunter that materialized in the woods. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not. I was almost certain this wasn't supposed to happen in the game. But it didn't matter too much. Haunter is a Pocket Monster, and therefore, adorable enough to deserve its own game; no complaints arose from me. I re-opened my save file, and there I was, in my character's bedroom. Just like the Title Screen, Haunter was there, floating in my room. Just as Pikachu would do, it casually went to-and-fro, playing with things, even picking up my trumpet and pathetically trying to make music. It was pretty cool! My own Haunter! Those things are only found in the Pokémon Tower, so I was pretty impressed, considering this game probably takes place around Viridian City.

Soon enough, I decide to travel to Ochre Woods to play the "Caring for Caterpie" minigame, where you babysit Butterfree's important little babies. I didn't choose this mission for any particular reason, but I really needed to experiment. I wanted to see how Haunter would react to things. I try the simple things, like "Come here!" and "I love you!" and reactions weren't noticeably different. It was as if this little Haunter had known me just as well as Pikachu. It was incredible.

But then something particularly interesting propped up in my mind. There's an infamous supposed Easter Egg in the game where you could say "PlayStation" into the microphone, making Pikachu furious enough to attack the very fabric of existence with its electrical surges, in hopes that the atoms of the material world may align at the necessary time to cause a violent chain reaction, resulting in the end of the world (a seemingly unsuccessful attempt). So, of course, I repeated "PlayStation" into the microphone to see what would happen. The word slithered between my lips like a serpent maneuvering through separate bagels. The microphone picks it up as I visually saw my message absorbed by Haunter. It was then that Haunter approached one of the Caterpie babies, opened its mouth, and used Lick. I was a little underwhelmed. I was expecting something big. As I released a sigh, I heard the phone ring, so I dropped the controller to go answer.

As I picked up the phone, it was entirely silent. I didn't get any answer. I mean, Haunter noises did come out of the phone, but since people don't make Pokémon noises, I figured that detail was likely insignificant. I hung up the phone and walked back to my N64.

The scene I returned to was bizarre, to say the least. Haunter was still there, but all the Caterpie babies were gone. Additionally, there were some small pools of hyper-realistic blood soaking in patches of grass. I figured the Caterpie babies must have left for the nearest market to buy some paper towels. It was kind of a mess after all, and it's rude to just leave a mess when company's over. These Caterpies had their priorities straight. They were certainly on the path to becoming mature, self-sufficient members of society. Good job, parenting! I figured Haunter and I would go home, since there was nothing else to do. Come to think of it, I wasn't aware that the N64 could process particularly detailed graphics, so why was the blood all 1080p and in 60 frames per second? Oh well. Nintendo games can be surprising sometimes. Look at _Luigi's Mansion_ ; that game still looks impressive.

We arrived in our bedroom, and I said "Good night!" to Haunter, as I've done each night with Pikachu during my previous playthrough. Haunter is awfully cute when it's sleeping. Augh, this game~3

The morning came with yet another surprise. The Haunter had become a Gengar overnight! Man, Gengar is pretty badass. I was positively amazed. Leave it to Nintendo's second-party support to provide some serious content. This was incredible! The Gengar waddled towards the in-game TV in a pretty cute, penguin-y way, as if it wanted to play that dumb quiz game that Oak sponsors.

Wait a minute... Haunter can only evolve if it's traded, right? There's no way it could evolve. I held down the "Z" button saying, "Gengar, this is impossible."

"Is it?" a dialogue box appeared. This startled me, perhaps more than yellow ice cream, or clowns that don't have poofy hair. The game has been pretty weird today, but never has it acknowledged me directly. I simplyed muster up the courage and held "Z" once more.

"Yes, it is. You can't trade Pokémon in _Hey You, Pikachu!_."

"Turn around..." My eyes widen, making my pupils look smaller than a marsupial mammal's gestation period. I had no idea what could've been behind me. Maybe Slenderman! Or maybe even a scary skeleton, or a pterodactyl! I closed my eyes and decided to kill the suspense. I swiftly turned my head, and upon opening my eyelids, I was met with nothing more than my bare wall. Nothing was there. Okay.

As I returned my attention back to the screen, I noticed that the dialogue box was gone. No more unusual text appeared. I must have hallucinated.

Or did I...?


End file.
